Curved Line

Its past midnight, you can't sleep.

There is no particular reason. You dribble between the net, TV, cell-phone , throwing one away and catching the next. You talk, you listen, you watch, you laugh, you think, you read, you do everything humanely possible to pass time. If Only.

You can't go out, its raining. And having nothing better to do, you end up siiting outside and observing the rain. Weird occupation of the mind . Trivial phenomenon get magnified and engross you with your eyes wide open, nobody else in your thoughts, no flicker of how the day went by, now anticipation how the next day is going to be, just that patch of a few minutes wherein its just you and the rain and the tree that extends its arm over your balcony. If Only. The deprivation of all other senses makes you marvel the order amongst the chaos.

Vision and mind, both, are encapsulated by misty darkness. A noisy silence. Your attention focusses to the trickle of a thin stream of water making its way across the the plethora of dark green leaves that appear blueish black under the dim light of the lone streetlight . You are so captivated by the path the stream takes that the miss of a single leaf that it should have hit upon makes you feel like declaring war upon God. 

And then, the phone rings. If Only.

The Element of Choice

I never quite get it when they tell me to let life take its own course. Should I just sit around, do nothing and wait for every instance to unravel itself before me and then accept it hands down because, Hey! Thats life, it took its own course!

All of us, whether we like it or not, stand where we are because that is where we chose to be, by doing what we chose to do, listening to whom we chose to listen, believeing what we chose to believe.The point where we blame it all on destiny is when the choices we made/did not make were not what we should have. And the worst category when destiny finds itself taken to the mattresses is where we try half-heartedly. For then, 

1. Success in obtaining the result as we want it to be is almost never the case. Period.

2. 'Hey I tried, I guess thats the way its meant to be' - is the only false solace that we can acquiece ourselves too. (Shame really).

I am not against the idea of fate, I'm against its interpretation. Circumstances are responsible for the outcome limited only to the plane where you need to choose what should happen next. If beyond that things end being as you wish or don't wish them to be, take some responsibility, it was your choice!

I can't promise I'll tame the ocean,
when waves come in crashing ,
or tear the cloak of thunder,
at each footstep the world smashing.
I can't promise astral beings,
all roses and no thorns,
or a stream of crystal gobulets,
pearls and rings and crowns.
I can't promise absence of hurdles,
or abstinence of chaotic stirs,
I can't promise no commotion,
no momentary visionary blurs.
But I promise all you ask for,
and I promise all you ever shall,
and I promise you that I'll be along,
each second, each minute, through it all.

His ineptitude to grasp the jist of the situation left him two choices, none of which he could decide upon. What could have greeted whom he faced could have been a benevolent smile or hideous temper. The tar coal blood that rushed through his veins left him incapable of either as he stood there, his expression incomprehensible, his words without purpose.

His only solace lay in the fact that she faced a similar dilemma. And a sadistic pleasure in watching her wriggle with the flirtatious numbness brought a grin to his face. The gush of a possible million actions kept him exceedingly calm. He was the wick of a candle that had been burning for ages, which now, was no match to the stormy wind.And the calmness was just a masquerade for the flickering that would soon give way to the eventual darkness.

He fixated his gaze upon her, while feigning a false smile to the many curious faces around, oblivious to the chaotic ramblings of the two they accompanied.He noticed her rolling eyes and pressing of lips, a sense of urgency as if trying to bring a wildly swinging pendulum to an abrupt halt but unable to decipher which way its meant to be stopped. The twitch of her eyebrows convinced him that reality, as he wanted it, as she hoped it, lay thousand miles beyond the horizon.