Little Bit More

Some things lose their charm once you get a closer look at them. They are best appreciated at a distance, a closer view only belittles the resplendent larger than life image you have conceived in your mind.
Take the White House for example. For those who have watched Independence Day, the image of an alien laser beam blasting away the President's abode into countless miniscule particles leaves the mouth gaping with shock and awe written all over it.After all, it is THE WHITE HOUSE!  Honestly,the White House sucks. You walk half way across it to realize the same (that you have already walked half way across it and that it sucks).
Once the curiosity has nearly killed the cat after it has taken a peek-a-boo at whats the truth, all thats left of it is a meek purr and a subdued meow. There's a good side though, the cat is never going to be curious again.
The same logic,when applied to people is no different (not the cat one). Most of the kind that make the first impression on you are mostly never going to live upto it with the subsequent ones.It leaves you with a gaping hole in your belief, a doubt on your judgement. Is your perception about the good things in life flawed? Are you in a world of make believe where you are chasing the wrong things? 

Not at all. Time is the answer. How many times have you or I given ourselves sufficient time to come to a sound decision? Most of our life is lived in the lane of haste as if a foot on the brake will skid us off the highway. We let go of things, people et al only to realise at a later point in time that we should not have, when a mere thought-before-doing would've probably made this world a much better place for us.

And Thats That!

Maybe she has not been in conformity with whats expected of her or maybe because surreal things are expected of her.
I have no clue.
I just know of a headstrong girl who had gone out there to get what she wants and acted on it .has she of late, got a little confused if what she wants is actually what she wants.
I have no clue.
She can still be the kid she's cast adrift towards the marooned island. She can still be someone who'll burst into laughter at the stupidest joke at the drop of a hat. But will she, under a myriad of a thousand observants do that?
I have no clue.
For long now, she's been on her own. Her own support and encouragement in her ups and downs. Of sense and sensibility, whether in times of tense or tranquility. Does she still retrospect on what all she has accomplished and inspire herself when she's down?
I have no clue.
She'll always tell you what she thinks, and do according to what she thinks should be done. I don't say she's always right or wrong,in her judgement and actions. Does she think the same and reconcile?
I have no clue.

All I have a clue of is that she's a simple person caught in a web of conflicting loyalties and confusing patterns. She can fight her way out of it, or wait for the web to itself break off.
Which path will she choose?
I have no clue.

Take Me Back There Anytime!

Not walking on top of the stoned pathway alongside the lake and hopping over any crevice that comes on the way.

Not throwing water balloons at passers by on Holi.

Not filling up a vessel with soapy water and blowing bubbles using a rolled up sheet of paper.

Not sailing paper ships in the gushing stream of water along the street in the rain.

Not giving prank calls to strange people and laughing hysterically with cousins after doing so.

Not hitting the cricket ball in the angry neighbours house and hiding as if you were never a part of any such thing happening.

Not 'accidently' bumping into the girl you like at the water cooler at school.

Not waiting for dad to get you something everytime he returned from some trip.

Not shouting and laughing madly at that late night gathering in the locality with friends and being shouted at in return for the ruckus.

Not envying the kid who got the latest Reebok shoes while you still have Action ones.

Not hurrying to be the first one to submit your answer sheets at an exam or being the one who asked for the most number of extra sheets.

Not excited about Dexters Laboratory airing at 5 PM anymore.

No more victory in convincing parents in letting you  watch that late late night movie.

Not stopping the street hawker and buying the sumptuous sugar candy.

Not cribbing when not allowed to hop onto the rides at the Rose Festival.

Not in any sense does it mean that there are not things now that may enfuse in us the same excitement as these, but,growing up has the biggest price tag,.....our childhood. Is it even worth it?

Bhapaji

We all always thought he should be in ads that endorse smoking. Ram Swaroop " Bhapaji" Manrai had been smoking since the age of seven,  a minimum of 2 bundles of beedis a day, putting a dying one down only to hold a fresh one a moment later. He even humoured that the reason for his energy is the fact that he never smokes less than that! 

He worked as an income Tax officer for the GOI, and was as honest and dedicated as they come. Of course I never saw him during his working days, for he retired as long before me as i am now or even earlier! But I have seen him when he used to come over to our city from Delhi-6 , alongwith Beeji and spend a few weeks.

Bhapaji,the younger brother of my Grandpa and Beeji, the elder sister of my Grandma were married sometime in the late 1940's. I found it amusing and cool as a child, and to be honest, still totally agree with my feelings then. That makes it over 70 years of married life! Their arrival always meant a time of sitting together in closed groups and listening them take out stories one after the other out of a box. What they narrated are, by far,the most astonishing and captivating tales i have ever heard. Be it encounters with ghosts,a funny dig at someone from the family, a personal experience, everyone was spellbound and fixated by the old couple's enthusiasm in what they said and the fervour they said it with.

In 2007, they stayed with us for a month and a half, stepping aside from the initial plan of just a few days. Evertime the topic of there going back would come up, me and my sis would ask them to stay just a week more, and they would. We just didn't want them to go, and I guess they too, waited for us to say so. Everyday morning , Beeji would make me some paranthas for breakfast ,I would get Bhapaji three bundles of 501 and be off to college. 2007 was the same, except I could only meet them for a couple of days, work having taken me away .

While going home next week, I had plans to meet him up on the way. He was in too much of a hurry I guess.

Bhapaji passed away two days ago,aged 86. 

Will love you always. Thank you for being my Bhapaji.:)

At times....

....for no apparent reason, you just don't feel too good!

Imperfection - The Perfect Thing!

As far as my understanding of life goes,the biggest folly any of us ever commits is when we try to change ourselves for someone, or for that matter, the society, which Eddie Vedder correctly put,is a crazy breed.
We are not perfect, we are not meant to be! "We are human after all"....whoever said that ,well, i salute thy genius. This statement symbolises the fact that imperfection is desired of us,we should celebrate follies of our own, doing deeds termed as 'incorrect', 'inappropriate' and whatsoever. But because, we are constantly peltered by conflicting opinions, and the fact that we are obliged to be someone with zero aberrations, or atleast expected to be, we change ourselves. Lo!, we end up committing the biggest blunders of our lives!

You eat too much,you eat too little, you drink too much, why don't you drink?, you are never paying attention, stop being so particular, you are never serious,you are impunctual, you drive rashly, you are an intovert, you are too much of an extrovert....and a million others to follow....too many questions/opinions showered by the scrutinizing eyes that constantly watch us, for no reason.
They say it because they are expected to say it, we do it because we are expected to do it!

I hate that, I dont want to be perfect. I know I do things that may be perceived as wrong,but I am the one who derives happiness by doing them. Isn't happiness supposed to be the driving factor of our life? I love being inaccurate, giving into my desires,indulging.... I love all I do!
And as long as I do that and am happy, give me one good reason why I should stop. Because you or somebody else disapproves? Really, should I give in to that?