Reflections of a Broken Heart

A poignant depression sinks my heart,
Your incog indifference punctures my soul
I long forever to go back to the start
I’m rendered a plaything, my heart’s a gaping hole

All that I thought was paradise
Was truly a burning hell
Every moment I die as I am living
There is no difference I can tell

Anguish and pain I have concealed
With laughter that has been fabricated
Tribulation dwelling in myriad smiles
Fluttering atop grief aggregated

I was so naïve , I thought you cared
Leave me now and enjoy your days
Diffident you have been and diffident you will be
Its time we went our separate ways

I will not ever trust again
My feelings I will not ever share
I think though I might love again
I certainly will never care.

If you have really lived your life thinking one thing, it would be pretty devastating to find it wasn't true.

What If I Were to Die Today

What if today is the last day of my life???????????


Will i be sad, Will i be glad?
Will i re-live the times that i've had?
Will sky at sunset seem more bright
and i see day as envelopes me the night.
Will i feel bounded, Will i feel free?
Will i be someone else, Will i be me?
To fulfill desires will i still wait?
Will i choose love over the people i hate?
Will words of wisdom flow from my mouth?
Will i for mercy top of my voice shout?
Will i be panicky, Will i be calm?
Will there be hands of beloved, comforting and warm?
Will there be demons sucking away my breath?
Will there be angels and pacific silhouettes?
Will there be repentance, Will there be joy?
Will true emotions emerge or still be coy?
Will will still be  will or will will be wont?
Will do's be done or will they be don't?
I live my life as if i can die any day
regret if there is, it doesn't happen that way.

Success

Aroma of success is an addictive feeling
to see the world subdued and kneeling.

Encouraging the psyche it gives a high
left unrefreshed, it shrivels up and dies.

"Its a lonely feeling at the top"
are excuses of losers...stop.

To see the smiles that are wide wider
it takes effort unrestituted, ask the spider.

Let no one stop you, no hail, no rain
meet them in the eye and win again!

Wonderland Airways

Wonderland Airways take me away
to a place where there are no tears
Infinitely blissful paradise
with no reasons for me to sear

Where crimson coloured tulips
giggle under the blue sky
To a place I love the most
Greenest is grass and joyous doves fly

Wonderland Airways take me away
light years from this madding crowd
A place for none other just for me
where I’m not followed by dark clouds

Adorned by pious mountain streams
With glee and happiness abound
And angels dwell beside every brook
Just what I want surrounds!

Wonderland Airways take me away…..


Go ahead, ask yourself, isn’t it true that
we all have a square in our life that we
don’t seem to cross because we don’t
know which of the ways we should take.
Its like that little scratch on the top of
your mouth which would heal if only you
would stop licking with your tongue but
you cant, or so as Tyler says. We need
an escape when we reach such a junction.
We need a Wonderland Airway to take
us where our mind is unpolluted with the
indecisiveness and cluelessness. Someplace
where we can be just us with nothing to
torment us, no unsolved puzzle to plague
the neurons. Whats your wonderland?

Yourself Naturaly

What is the sea if it were shallow?
what is the mountain if it were small?
what is the rainbow without colours?
what if the grass if it were tall?

What is a vision if it ends tomorrow?
what is a fighter if scared of a fight?
what is a friend not there when needed?
or an argument not asserted when right?

What is a star that cannot sparkle?
or a straphanger who loses his way?
what is an arrow that misses its target?
what is a feeling if not conveyed?

What is distance if at arms length?
what is hope if not instilled?
what is a tear that refuses to trickle?
what is a wish if not fulfilled?

What is a rose if it has no fragrance?
what are people if there is no country?
what is a blush without a maiden?
what am I if I'm not me?


Everything in this world has an identity,
an attribute which when taken away leaves
its parent worthless. Something similar is
with us humans. Each of us has a unique
persona, be it  a godly or satanic. So many
times we find ourselves manipulating our
true self to appease those around or merely
to prove a poing. I say stop changing. You
are not and cannot be somebody else, its
unnatural. The sooner one understands it,
the better.

Sssshhhh..........

Sssshhhh. Let her sleep
its cold and dark outside
she's on a journey of a million dreams
behind those closed eyes, let her hide.

Sssshhhh. She's a baby
let me watch her sleep
its been a long fall from heavens
cuddled up, let me her guard keep.

Sssshhhh. A stolen beauty
a rose amongst a million thorns
a serenade, she's the sweetest symphony
a painted yellow field of corns.

Sssshhhh. Let me drink away
every pint of grief, every drop of sorrow
let me stroke my hand in her flowing hair
she'll wake up to a better tomorrow

Eyes Wide Open

There are two categories of people in this world. Those who keep sleeping all the times,and for whom Jesus took a minute off to mention it in the Ten Commandments under the tagline Sloths. Then there is the variety who’ll keep staring blankly into the darkness all night long, commonly called Insomniacs. I’m the third kind. You see, I CAN sleep for long hours and they can be really long trust me, so much so that during childhood, I was christened a certain sleep loving character of the Ramayana. And I can stay awake late too. But the climax comes into the picture when I’m unable to do the first thing at a time when I do not want to do the second thing. Believe me, its not just the text that’s complicated.
As my friend Cornelius/Rupert/Tyler said, when you have insomnia, you’re never really awake and you’re never really asleep. Everything seems like a copy of a copy of a copy. It holds in my case too. Issuing in public interest, I would say, you should understand that u have a similar problem when you cannot tell the difference between 2AM and 3AM and you simply don’t care. You gaze with day-dreamy eyes at each and every contour of your room walls just to find an aberration, u look blatantly into the outside gardens just to spot a pregnant cat with a fur covered paw looking for the ‘caught off guard’ mouse, peeve with expectant eyes for that neighbourhood hottie to come outside and check if the cloud at 16th parallel has moved ¾ of the way across the moon or not( whatever that meant!). Believe me its serious. Firstly, you get your parents storming into your room in case you have lights on, though they even come when lights are off just to ask why lights are not on because they are also used to your metabolism. Secondly, your head gets mashed up with all the worlds thoughts that just masticate themselves to form a sour dough. Third and most serious of all, you feel like starting a blog.
In my case, I’ve had people all over telling me remedies to this particular condition of mine. Some have advocated doctors( get the pun here, ADVOCATING a DOCTOR), some have suggested Baba Ramdev exercises( yeah right!). To be honest, even I have given a thought if something should be done about it, and have withdrawn my case before the first hearing pleading guilty. You know why, well, there is so much to think over. And whatever is going to come out of all this thinking is going to be, as Barnie would say, LEGEN….wait for it….DARY. Say it isn’t so.
Well, till I fall asleep, hasta la vista baby and suit up!

Stars to Moon

Why do you leave us alone?
not long ago, brightest you ever shone.
Unconditional love we have for you,
purer than an untouched pearl, selfless, so true.
You comfort us in the silence of the dark,
orphaned we are without you, naked , so stark.
tortured through the day for the night in your yearning,
calm and cold outside, inside we are burning.
Since time was timeless, there were no minutes, no hours,
To you are we important, or mere useless stars?

Sometimes, i feel the moon just plays around with the stars.
It pretends to be always there alongside and then, like that,
its goes into hiding betraying all that they have conjured up.
Isnt it unfair? All along the month, it hangs up there with em
giving them promises all when it knows it has to retreat to an
unseen abyss! And then everything starts all over again. It'll
grow each day, bit by bit, exhibiting its full glory and then
start taking steps back to disappear once again. Hope is the
worst thing anyone can give anyone.

PS....TO THE ANONYMOUS COMMENT WRITER: Thanks a
lot for the birthday wishes and wish you a very very happy and
prosperous New Year. Would like to know who you realy are though.